As I meet more and more people in life, I have noticed very common thinking styles among these people (more easily identifiable through the frameworks of MBTI and Enneagram). Yet when I find a scenario where two people share the same MBTI and Enneagram, they can be astoundingly different. Their thinking style and life focus will be the same but their unique attributes and belief systems could be completely different. It can be night and day with their personalities. This has led me to question what causes people to become differentiated over time (through the process of self-actualization) and what causes people to remain stagnant.
I have identified some traits that seem to be necessary for self-actualization or at the least is correlated with that growth process. This list is a continuing work in progress as I don’t feel that I’ve identified all the traits.
Growth Mindset.
The quality that seems to have the largest impact on self-actualization is the growth mindset. If someone believes their qualities are fixed or has no desire to improve their own qualities (despite believing they can change over time), then it becomes very hard to develop. There has to be a conscious acceptance of the idea that we can grow as people + a personal drive to ensure that we continue that process for ourselves. I have seen that many people would rather stay “fixed” but if they are required to change due to external circumstances such as adapting to the demands of their jobs, then they will. This process itself can drive growth but is limited in the sense that they are changing because they have to. Yet our personal growth will become much more holistic and effective if we take the initiative to grow in ways that the external environment does not require.
an active approach to life vs passively accepting the defaults we are given.
When we start our lives, everything in a sense is decided for us and we have limited control. We grow up in a certain neighborhood, have certain family & friends, do certain activities, and are given many other defaults. As we grow older, we have more potential to change those defaults we are given. We are faced with a choice to implicitly accept those defaults that were given to us or reject the “path” laid out for us. There seems to be two different types of rejection of this path as well. The first type of rejection is emotionally reactive – where the individual is repulsed by the demands placed on them, causing them to react almost impulsively and in a black/white manner. The second type of rejection is an independent response to the default option. It is more thoughtful than emotionally reactive and weighs the pros/cons of the list of decisions to be made against the defaults.
A true belief of control our destiny.
This concept relates back to the ideas of determinism vs free will. A belief that we control our destiny seems to be strongly correlated and encouraging towards having beliefs related to growth mindset and taking an active approach to life. If we believed that our lives were determinant of factors outside of our control, then by the same degree in which we have passive acceptance of “fate”, we extinguish our ability to self-actualize (take control) in ways that don’t fit within “fates” plan. If we were to assume we had no free will (control) over a matter, it becomes a default seed that is never allowed to flourish beyond what it could be.
Self-Awareness.
Self-actualizing people generally have self-awareness. I find self-awareness to be a very generic term and hard to describe. But if I had to explain self-awareness, I would characterize it as an acute understanding of an individual’s “place” in relation to the world. Place meaning that they are conscious of how their attributes and positioning (race, gender, socioeconomic status, values, etc.) contrast against the views of others. I have consistently seen that self-awareness is highly correlated to genuine curiosity about ourselves, others and the world at large. This makes sense to me because if we are consistently asking questions or exploring different types of thinking in general, then we will eventually see how we are differentiated from others and leads us to developing a level of self-awareness about how we relate to the world.
honesty within self.
Honesty within self means that the person needs to be able to acknowledge the positive aspects of themselves as well as negative aspects. If someone is deluded about their internal qualities or external outputs, it becomes a great obstacle for growth because they won’t be able to objectively assess reality. This attribute is correlated with self-awareness. The ability to be honest with ourselves increases our own self-awareness, thus helping us interact with the world in a more distinguished way. As an extending chain, this creates a virtuous cycle that furthers the self-actualization process.
A Willingness to act on our judgment.
There seems to be a strong action component on the process of self-actualization. It’s not enough to know that the defaults are there and then accepting it , even if the individual know it’s not right for them. It’s not enough to have a growth mindset and then stay within a box of activities that we are used to. It’s not enough to be self-aware and sit back from the world while it passes by. It requires a certain degree of initiative and courage to push against the inertia that is present within us and that the world presents us. This is not merely fighting against the status quo in an emotionally reactionary way but acting upon thoughtful, independent choices.
Enjoying The process of Change.
There’s a certain amount of pain to be encountered when we act on the self-actualization process. This would indicate on some level, the person would need to be able to tolerate a continual process of being “born again” with each change. On some level, they will need to enjoy that process of change, because very few people would be willing to undergo that pain. Some people are willing to change if they believe there is an external reward for it (example: learning more for a career because it gives them more income). However, that type of growth is limited because it excludes anything that offers only personal improvement with little outer manifestation that would be visible. To find the motivation to continue self-actualizing on a holistic level, I have seen that a great internal motivator is actually enjoying the process.
I do not feel this is an exhaustive list of the traits needed for self-actualization. I will add to this list as I think of more ideas. I believe all these ideas are highly correlated and supportive of each other. The adoption of a few of these ideas lead to adopting the others. In that sense, it could also be reasoned that anyone could self-actualize, provided that they had the right mindset about it.